Fibroids: Denial & Acceptance

After learning of my fibroid diagnosis, I wavered between denial and acceptance. The first year after my diagnosis, I mostly allowed myself to forget about it altogether. As I have mentioned, I had no outstanding symptoms that prevented me from continuing life as normal. I was still unconvinced that my back pain was a result of the fibroids. As a matter of fact, I did not focus on the diagnosis very much at all. A year later, as a result of the second ultrasound, I found out that the fibroids had grown in size and number. I started with 6, and for some reason my initial recollection was that the number had grown to 8 (more about that in a later post)…

This time, I’d decided that I would be more proactive with my health. I began juicing and seeing an acupuncturist with hopes that the fibroids would shrink or go away on their own. I was already under the care of a chiropractor and was convinced that my body would heal itself. In the meantime, I slowly developed more frequent bloating, inconsistent bowel movements, and urinary retention. I still did not immediately attribute these symptoms to the fibroids. My period was even more normal and timely than it had previously been. My first 2-3 period days were heavy then it trickled off as normal.

My job, at the time, required me to be on my feet all day, and I didn’t take many bathroom breaks. In my mind, holding my urine was the reason for my urinary problems. I can recall a few instances, where I went to use the restroom and before I could even finish washing my hands, I was in the stall urinating again. This concerned me more than anything.

While the fibroids weren’t visibly obvious, there was one that would protrude whenever I would lie on my back. I somehow convinced myself that it was an abdominal muscle. Denial… My acupuncturist was aware of it, and would concentrate much of the needling in that area. At one point, while acknowledging my hesitancy, she urged me to proceed with the surgery. She informed me that there wasn’t much she would be able to do to make them go away, but that we could continue acupuncture to help manage my symptoms. This was the moment I knew I needed to schedule my surgery. I’d tried everything I felt comfortable enough to do. I prayed, worked out, juiced, maintained chiropractic care, was consistent with acupuncture, and I even eliminated meat for 2 months. It was time.